My Father's Advice

A father Advises his Son

MY FATHER’S ADVICE After completing my Master’s degree in Sociology at the University of Ibadan, Nigeria, I was offered a position as a lecturer at the same institution. Although I was grateful for the opportunity, the salary was modest, and commuting to work quickly became a challenge. To ease the burden, I asked my neighbor—who also worked at the university—for a ride. He agreed, but only on the condition that I arrived at his house at least thirty minutes before his 7:00 a.m. departure. I adjusted my routine accordingly, and for a while, the arrangement was a huge relief. Three months into this free ride, however, problems began to surface. Some days, he told me to find my own way home because he would be working late. While that was true occasionally, I later discovered that on other days he was simply spending time with his mistress. To avoid exposing his affair, he used the excuse of late hours. Over time, his excuses became frequent, and I realized he was no longer willing to help. It became clear that I needed to find an alternative means of transportation. I shared my frustration with a friend, who advised me to either seek other options or, better still, buy a car of my own. The idea appealed to me, but I lacked the savings to make such a purchase. I tried to secure a loan from someone I knew, but to my disappointment, they couldn’t assist. Left with no choice, I traveled home to ask my father for help. When I explained my situation and requested money for a car, my father refused. He reminded me that he had already fulfilled his responsibility by sending me to school—from primary through university—and that now, as a working adult, I should be able to save and provide for myself. His words—“I sent you to the university, you’ve finished and are already working; you should be able to save some money to buy a car”—struck me deeply. I knew he could afford to help, but he chose not to. At first, I was disappointed. But after reflecting for two days, I realized his refusal was not cruel—it was wise. At 27 years old, I needed to stand on my own feet. My father had already given me the greatest gift: education. The rest was up to me. Soon after, I remembered a friend who worked at a nearby bank. I approached him for a loan, and within two weeks, my application was approved. The repayment plan required me to clear the debt within twelve months. It wasn’t easy—I had to sacrifice many comforts to save enough—but eventually, I bought my own car. That experience became one of the most important lessons of my life. My father’s refusal taught me to be independent, to take charge of my future, and to rely less on others. His advice shaped me into a man who understands that true growth comes from responsibility and self-reliance.