Angelus Blog

Do parents truly know what’s best for your love life? From teething to teenage awkwardness, they’ve watched you grow and believe they hold the ultimate “data set” on who you are. Naturally, they assume they’re qualified to vet your future partner.   But while their intentions may stem from love—or a not-so-subtle desire for grandchildren—parental matchmaking often causes more harm than good.   The Illusion of the Perfect Candidate Someone can look flawless on paper—a “10/10” in your parents’ eyes—yet feel lifeless in conversation. Parents tend to emphasize background, education, and cultural or religious compatibility. These matter, but they don’t create chemistry. Stability may be their priority, but connection is yours. And no spark can be forced just because two résumés align.   The Burden of Obligation When matchmaking involves family friends or community ties, a casual date can feel like a diplomatic summit. If things go badly, relationships with famil...

Why should a man wait to be told to work with his wife before he takes responsibility for the home? Bathing the children, putting them to bed, or cooking a meal are not “women’s duties”—they are family duties. A wise man understands that stepping into the kitchen or helping with chores does not strip him of his masculinity. On the contrary, it shows maturity, love, and leadership. Even a titled man is not diminished by service to his family; he is elevated by it. Yet, some men cling to outdated beliefs. One man famously declared he would never enter the kitchen because “that is not a married man’s place.” He believed that as long as he provided money, the kitchen belonged solely to his wife. He even burdened her with impossible standards, warning that food must be prepared with “utmost precision” or else disaster would follow. His wife lived in constant fear, punished whenever she failed to meet his rigid expectations. This is not strength—it is oppression disguised as tradition. The s...

At their father’s burial, James—the youngest of five siblings—shouldered most of the financial responsibility, contributing ₦8 million out of the ₦10 million budget. His elder brother, Cletus, 50 years old and financially strained, managed only ₦300,000. Samson, the 47-year-old teacher, gave ₦1 million, while Veronica, their divorced sister, offered ₦300,000. Jacob, a taxi driver, added ₦400,000.   Despite the uneven contributions, the burial was unexpectedly harmonious. But the fragile peace dissolved when the time came to divide their father’s estate. Custom dictated that the firstborn son, Cletus, should inherit the family house, along with a share of the remaining assets—five plots of land, six houses, clothes, and furniture.   Veronica, however, challenged this tradition. She argued that Cletus’s meager contribution to the burial should disqualify him from receiving the largest share. Aligning with Samson, she petitioned the village head. James stood firmly by t...

The movement of people from rural communities to urban centers in search of a better life is as old as human history. Cities, with their abundance of opportunities, continue to attract individuals from villages and countryside areas, fueling a steady stream of migration.   In this article, we will explore the frequency of rural-to-urban migration and suggest possible measures to address the trend. Our concern is that if this movement continues unchecked, rural areas may eventually be abandoned, placing immense pressure on already crowded cities.     Factors Driving Migration We shall examine the motivations behind this migration from both social and economic perspectives.   S ocial Factors   Rural dwellers often remain confined to their immediate environments, with limited exposure to the wider world. Their primary connection to life beyond their communities is through traditional media such as radio, television, newspapers, or telephones. When th...

According to a recent survey conducted in Nigeria, over four thousand couples filed for divorce in 2022. This represents a dramatic rise compared to previous years. Interestingly, not all marriages even reached the stage of legal arbitration. Some collapsed immediately after the Native Law and Custom (traditional) marriage, while others ended after the religious stage—Church or Islamic weddings—without progressing to court marriage. Even those that attained legal recognition often broke down within a few years. Surprisingly, many of these failed unions involved celebrities, particularly in the entertainment industry. A significant number also included highly educated couples—those with university degrees and beyond. This trend raises troubling questions: why do marriages today crumble so quickly, when in earlier decades couples often sustained their unions for 50 years or more? What are we failing to do that our parents did right? This article examines key factors that contribute...

Relationships between spouses, friends, and associates have often been torn apart by unverified reports spread by individuals who deliberately peddle dangerous rumors. These malicious agents rarely consider the devastating consequences their words may have on the lives of those involved. Rumor-mongers thrive on destruction. They care nothing for the feelings of their victims; their sole aim is to drag others down in pursuit of their sadistic intentions. Sadly, many victims fall into their traps because of a weakness for sensational stories that appeal to their emotions rather than their reason. One striking example illustrates this danger. A devout Christian, married for fifteen years and father of three, suddenly found his marriage in turmoil. His wife’s attitude changed drastically after hearing an allegation that he was having an affair with a woman she had never met. The rumor was delivered by a supposed confidante, and she accepted it without question. Determined to catch...

Success undeniably stems from hard work. However, when a family member achieves notable success in their career, they often face unique and intense pressures from relatives. How this individual manages such pressures can either strengthen or weaken their position within the family. In many African families, whether nuclear or extended, when one member attains greater wealth than others, there is a common expectation that this person will provide material and financial support to the rest. This expectation persists regardless of whether the family head—often the father—is still alive. The successful individual frequently assumes the role of family provider, even while managing their own household responsibilities. In families grounded in love and trust, this dynamic tends to function smoothly. The successful member’s support encourages others to strive for their own success, fostering motivation rather than dependence. This cycle helps break the chains of reliance on the prosperous indi...

Jealousy, often rooted in envy of another’s possessions or success, is one of the most common causes of hatred. Many victims of jealousy are caught off guard, unknowingly falling into a vicious cycle of intense animosity. They may even mistakenly believe that their so-called enemies—often strangers to them—are acting in their favour, unaware that they are being trapped in harmful schemes. A defining trait of jealous individuals is their perpetual dissatisfaction with their own possessions, no matter how abundant they may be. They covet what others have achieved without making the necessary effort to attain similar success themselves. Driven by this insatiable desire, they may go to great lengths—even resorting to unethical or harmful actions—to dispossess their targets and satisfy their envy. Jealousy is often easy to detect, as those who harbor it tend to reveal their feelings, sometimes unintentionally. They are rarely pleased by the accomplishments or actions of their perceived ri...

Man and woman share a common human dignity. In many traditions, both are seen as created with the capacity to know, serve, and contribute to something greater than themselves. At the same time, men and women often bring different strengths to family and community life, including in areas like caregiving, collaboration, and the practical demands of building a home. In everyday life, many people find partnership meaningful. A woman may choose a man as her husband, and a man may choose a woman as his wife, each complementing the other through companionship, support, and shared responsibility. Some people also choose to live independently for a season or permanently; others form families in diverse ways. What matters most is mutual respect, honesty about needs and limits, and a commitment to the wellbeing of any children involved. Financial independence can be a source of confidence and stability for women and men alike. It does not preclude healthy partnership; rather, it can strengthen...

A traditional African herbalist preparing remedies with herbs, gourds, and symbolic artifacts in a vibrant cultural setting. In a desperate search for fast solutions to predominantly financial problems, many individuals turn from one witch doctor to another. Each promises an immediate and lasting remedy, despite the clear absence of any spiritual cause for their troubles. Among the various practitioners, some Voodoo priests offer a glimmer of hope, enticing the desperate with assurances of relief. During these consultations, clients are often required to provide animals such as goats, rams, fowls, or tortoises for sacrifice to the witch doctor’s gods. These offerings are typically presented as blood sacrifices to idols—wooden or metal figures adorned with red, black, or white cloth, depending on the setting where the artifact is kept. More often than not, these visits lead the unsuspecting and gullible into a systematic and ignorant initiation into the occult world of witch doctors. Dr...