DIVORCE: CAUSES AND LESSONS FOR MODERN MARRIAGES

According to a recent survey conducted in Nigeria, over four thousand couples filed for divorce in 2022. This represents a dramatic rise compared to previous years. Interestingly, not all marriages even reached the stage of legal arbitration. Some collapsed immediately after the Native Law and Custom (traditional) marriage, while others ended after the religious stage—Church or Islamic weddings—without progressing to court marriage. Even those that attained legal recognition often broke down within a few years. Surprisingly, many of these failed unions involved celebrities, particularly in the entertainment industry. A significant number also included highly educated couples—those with university degrees and beyond. This trend raises troubling questions: why do marriages today crumble so quickly, when in earlier decades couples often sustained their unions for 50 years or more? What are we failing to do that our parents did right? This article examines key factors that contribute to divorce in modern marriages. 1. Materialism Some marriages are built on wealth rather than love. For instance, a woman who married her husband because of his affluent background abandoned the union when financial misfortune struck. Once the money disappeared, so did the affection, leading to dissolution in court. 2. Infidelity Marriage vows are promises of fidelity. When either partner breaks this trust, disaffection sets in, often ending in divorce.

Why do people commit adultery? Reasons include sexual dissatisfaction, mismatched libido, promiscuity, or fading attraction. Yet, couples who share genuine love and commitment are less likely to succumb to these temptations. 3. Financial Problems In many African cultures, men bear the bulk of financial responsibilities, while women provide support. When a man fails to meet these obligations, some women struggle to cope. Conversely, when a woman carries the financial burden for too long, she may feel overwhelmed. Financial strain accounted for over 40% of divorces in Nigeria in 2022. 4. Domestic Abuse Violence in the home remains a devastating cause of divorce. Some men treat their wives as subordinates, resorting to physical abuse instead of resolving conflicts peacefully. Tragically, some women have died from such violence. Women, too, can be abusive—through constant nagging or emotional torment—which drives some men to abandon their homes. 5. Misinterpretation of Feminism Feminism, intended to promote equality of the sexes in public and private life, is sometimes misapplied in marriage. Some women interpret it as license to disregard or disrespect their husbands, refusing to perform roles they once embraced. While men can and should share household responsibilities, using feminism as a shield to abdicate all duties often creates tension that leads to separation. 6. Substance Abuse Drug and alcohol misuse destabilizes homes. Without clinical or psychological intervention, addiction erodes trust, communication, and stability. In many cases, the unaffected partner chooses divorce to preserve their sanity. 7. Weak Religious Commitment Both Christianity and Islam discourage divorce. Couples who remain rooted in their faith often enjoy enduring marriages. Unfortunately, many modern couples neglect religious principles, weakening the moral foundation that sustains long-term unions. Conclusion The rising divorce rate highlights the urgent need for couples to avoid practices that undermine marriage. Women today are more empowered to speak up, while men often struggle with changing expectations of submission. The solution lies in mutual understanding. Marriage thrives when both partners commit to patience, respect, and compromise. A happy home is not built by chance—it is the product of conviction, commitment, and deliberate effort. Couples who embrace these values can withstand challenges and build unions that last a lifetime.